Can I Live?

Once upon a time I sat in my room and rocked back and forth. Sick in the heart thinking about what I was going to do with myself. Give birth to a child? Me? At 17? Keep him. Give him up to some family that could pamper him like I couldn't? This song ripped my heart into a thousand peices - it shook me up so hard I couldn't breathe. And I knew. I couldn't destroy the only thing that had ever been good and innocent in my life.

He smiles up at me when I call his name and I smile at my big headed bald baby (we shaved him lol) and I'm so in love I cry.

I understand sometimes a woman has to do what she has to do. You can't expect a woman that is brutally raped to carry a child in her for 9 months without hating herself and that innocent life. It happens, sure, but it doesn't mean its fair. I just guess ... I needed to say it. Out loud, on paper, pixel-ized. I'm glad I chose life.